The sex drive is only one of the components of sexual responsiveness. It is the emotional power-house which needs to be translated into the capacity to perform and then into the actual performance. It is both innate, that is biologically determined, and learned, that is determined by experiences.

Sexual drive is not the same as sexual capacity, that is the ability to enjoy sex. The sex drive tells you what you want to do; sexual capacity is what you are able to do. Because of this distinction, psychological problems may arise when the drive powers an inadequate capacity (as in impotence) or results in an inadequate performance, as assessed by oneself or by others (as in premature or delayed ejaculation in men and in lack of orgasm in women). The strength of a person’s sex drive may also lead to psychological problems if one partner’s drive does not relate closely to that of the other, and the couple are unable to talk about their problem frankly. Usually a compromise is reached, and the urgency of the drive is sublimated, but this may not occur and the individual becomes tense and hung-up.

Although masturbation is now accepted as normal and petting is permitted, sexual intercourse between adolescents remains a matter of considerable concern both to parents and to the adolescents themselves. While some parents accept that their children will have sexual intercourse and only seek to suggest that it is sexually damaging and irresponsible to put the girl in danger of becoming pregnant, or of either partner becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease, most parents disapprove of pre-marital sexual intercourse, especially for girls.

This creates a dilemma for many adolescents. Their parents’ values about sex may differ considerably from those of their peers, and when the parent is perceived as being non-permissive, the adolescent is increasingly influenced by the values of his peers which are likely to be more permissive. This can cause guilt about deceiving parents, and fear should the parents find out. Many parents promote and instil values which reduce sexual permissiveness; many peer values, and the emotional experiences of dating, promote sexual permissiveness.