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If you want to feel what a muscle is like when it’s relaxed, start by recognizing what it’s like when it’s tense. Probably the easiest muscles to tense and relax are the muscles in your hands, so that’s where we’ll start.

Relaxing your hands, arms and shoulders-Clench both your fists as hard as you can, holding them up in the air. Now you’re ready to relax. Keep up the tension in your hands as hard as you can while you take a deep breath through your nose, counting to three slowly. Now blow out your breath through your mouth as though you were blowing out three candles, set one behind the other in front of you. As you blow, release the tension and let your fists drop and your hands fall back on the bed (or the sofa, or the floor or wherever you are). It will be a great relief to be without all those tight sensations in your hands and wrists. Lie still and check that all the tight, aching feelings have gone or are going. If they’re still there after a couple of minutes, clench your fists again and repeat the process. Then get your friend to check how relaxed you are. A really relaxed hand is absolutely floppy. The fingers curl into a natural curve. If you are on your own, prop up a mirror so you can see yourself and check on the position of your hands. After a while, your hands, lying on the bed, will begin to feel quite heavy.

Now relax your arms. Lift your hands and arms off the bed and tense them right up to the shoulders. You will feel the tension in your elbows, which will seem to be trying to push their way through from the outside to the inside of your arms. You’ll probably ache along the inside of your upper arms, too, and across your shoulders. Take your deep breath, blow out your three candles and let all the tension in your arms go so that they drop back heavily onto the bed. If you’re really relaxed all the tight aching sensations should soon start to melt away. Get your friend to check that your arms are relaxed by gently lifting them up and supporting them with both hands. A relaxed arm is floppy and quite heavy to lift. Lie quietly and check that there isn’t any tight, uncomfortable feeling anywhere along the length of either arm.

At this stage, tackle your shoulders. Most of us hunch our shoulders just a little bit, most of the time. It’s a sure sign of tension, but we don’t usually recognize what we’re doing. If you now hunch your shoulders right up into your neck as far as you can, you’ll feel tension in the back of your neck, under your chin, and down your back along both shoulder blades. Once again take a deep breath, tensing your shoulders as much as you can, and then breathe out, blowing through your mouth. Let your shoulders drop as though your arms were falling out of their sockets. Now drop them a bit further still.

You might well find that you’re not comfortable on your pillows now, and you’ll need to get your friend to readjust them. You may need to wriggle around a little until you’re comfortable again. When you’re settled, check that your hands and arms and shoulders are still relaxed.

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